morningstarmen

Friendship, An important key to success?

The people whom we surround ourselves with have a very powerful influence on who we become and where we go. Yet our choices about whom we allow to be close to us are often made without that thought in mind. The close friendships we make and the affiliations which we have can imprint themselves on our success path as surely as any other steps we take.  If friendships are that powerful, why do we so often either take them for granted or develop them haphazardly?

 

Belief and Persistence Count for more than Brilliance and Opportunity

Wouldn't it be great to have some "Success Formula"? Since we've already defined success as moving intentionally toward  worthy goals, but also suggested that worthy goals will varry according to the person then it might seem difficult to find a true formula.  But todays's topic comes as close to that as possible.  To believe - truely believe - that the thing you are striving for is worthy and noble and worth the risk, the sacrifice and the work is the first part of that formula. Without a belief - in what you pursue, your call to pursue it, and your ability to attain it, you won't start. And even if you could somehow find a good enough reason to start without that passionate and committed belief, it's highly unlikely that you'd continue once things became difficult.  Belief is the first part of the formula.  It's complimentary bookend is persistence. To believe in the value of what you pursue and to stop and almost nothing to attain it...those are the first and last parts of the "success formula.

Today we'll look at what may be the 5 components of the formula, starting with belief, moving on to planning, then taking action, next being attentive and observant of what is happening and the results you are achieving, and then finally keeping on until you have arrived.

 

That's Not Fair...What do we do when life is anything but fair?

"That's not fair!!"  OK, maybe you've heard those words from a young son or daughter. They, of course, were referring to some rule you created or enforced, or maybe even the way in which you handled a family discipline issue relating to several of your children. It's one thing when a teen daughter or irate son complains. But have those very same thoughts echoed through your own mind at a time or two during your adult life? The whiny objections of an adolescent are understandable - if annoying.  Yet each adult I know has expressed or at least thought that very same thing. Maybe that prompts an important question. "Is Life Supposed to be Fair?"  If so, who's fairness will be the standard? And who will then serve as the "fairness police"?

What if...What if thoughts of  "fairness" were actually a distraction from larger and more important concerns?  Would you be curious to learn how God views the concept of fairness? I thought so.  So let's dig in.

Failure, the event. Success's Lesser liked brother.

Who hasn't failed at something? I guess we could say it starts even before grade school and is only amplified after that. But honestly, what were your thoughts on failure while growing up? And what are your thoughts on failure today? Something to be avoided at all cost? Something that successful people don't do? Maybe something we're sure other people do also, but it's best to keep it all hidden?  From our earliest days most of us have been given a script to act out which will lead to some form of "success". Since success seems to be the opposite of failure, then it would seem to follow that successul people do everything in their power to avoid failing.  But is that true?  Part yes...and Part no.

This week's topic follows naturally and sequentially after our discussion of success. And while you might not be surprised by what we talk about, I want to assure you that a superficial understanding of failure and its remedy will only leave any of us bitter, wounded, and soured on life. If anyone wants to achieve a durable and lasting success, it's essential that he or she also learns to fail well and fail wisely.  Let's take a look.

The 6 Things Every Man Should Know Part 1 Success

Who doesn't want to be successful. Parents don't want to raise mediocre kids. Adults really don't long for mediocre careers or mundane marriages.  No one stives to be ordinary. We each want to succeed. But what does that really mean? What is success? And how can we arrive there?  Just as importantly, how can we keep retain the success we've been privaledged to acquire and use it to achieve even higher levels of success?

Who doesn't want to know the answers to those questions?  Yet many Christians struggle with the whole idea of success. Is that part of God's plan? Does God really care about my success? Others have  no such problem. Their philosophy is more one of "God wants me to be wealthy and happy. Who's right? Either? Neither?

While the Bible actually doesn't say too much about success directly, is speaks volumes to a related topic. It shares abundantly on the topic of "how not to fail". As a matter of fact, it leaves many avenues open to each man for succeeding abundantly, but provides some cautionary words about succeeding in ways which won't be worth the price we each pay for the success we gain. I hope you'll find this to be a fasinating topic. I also hope you'll find it very very helpful.

 

Inlaws, Outlaws and other Laws...Living with Peace while offering Mercy, Grace, and Love in those tension-filled Family gatherings.

If you can remember back to the days of the video rental store, you'd browse the racks in search of a great movie or two to watch on a winter evening. Near the Holidays, there'd alway be a collection of "made for Christmas" movies. Some were serious, some romantic, and yet there was inevitably a a large of comic-relief movies. Movies about wacky families and their odd ways or full-blown conflicts. Why were those always so funny? I think it may have been because beneath the very thin verneer of a different set of faces and perhaps some very unusual situations - beneath all that - was the similarity between those dysfunctional "made-for-a-movie families and our own.

Every family is a little odd. Every family has its times of tension. Into every family come family tensions.  Nothing can bring us joy and nothing can bring us sorrow or pain quite like family. Yet, no man really enjoys the tensions, the ackward feelings of inadequacy, or the private conflicts which often occur before, during, or after extended family gatherings.

Fortunately the Scriptures really do have some things to teach us and some ways to encourage us through those potential land-mines we call holiday dinners and family gatherings. Let's take a look.  

21st Century Marriage. Remaining Faithful in all seasons.

Every married couple confronts the day when one or another of the partners is hurt, frustrated  or perhaps disillusioned. Questions such as "what did I ever see in this person?" or "How can I go on in this?" float to conscious thought. At such times we have choices to make. Either work through the tough stuff and work it out, or ignore the problems and hope they'll go away.

Problems go away on their own, about like a leaky roof gets better on its own. If repairs or renovations are not undertaken, what began as a leak becomes major damage. That's true with house roofs and with relationships. Sometimes we'll make foolish statements such as "I'd never" or "I know she's upset, but she would never...".  It's best not to operate under the assumption that we're invincible and immune to temptation. It's smarter to follow the counsel of Paul who reminded readers two  thousand years ago that husbands and wives can be tempted toward unfaithfulness. For that reason, our responsibility as men is to initiate the conversations and make the efforts to restore vibrant relationship.  We are seek - respectfully and graciously - to bring difficulties which divide to the light of day and address them carefully. In that way intimacy at all levels can be reestablished.

Remember this: Adultary is unfaithfulness to our covenant promises. We can be unfaithful in many ways. Yet adultary is usually the easy and lazy way out of a difficult relationship.

Marriage Conflict and Quarrelsome Mates.

Conflicts are a certainly to be expected in any long-standing relationship. Conflicts can actually have a very healthy effect on mature people who must live with each other and partner together to make their way through life. But while conflict is normal, should be expected and is usually healthy, "Quarrelsomeness" is anything but healthy. To have a spirit which hungers to correct, to challenge, to prove wrong, is not only a source of frustration to others, it can be extremely destructive. Let's take a closer look in this week's podcast.

21st Century Marriage; When Worse, Sickness & Poorer come to call

Every young couple marries with the belief that theirs will be the marriage which can weather the diffuculties of life. But since most have yet to experience the real stuff which life will throw their way, they make promises about things which they have no real experience. No two couples experience the same amount or same intensity if difficulty. Some sail through life with very few problems, while we watch others whose lives are filled with great pain and difficulty. We may not be able to explain the differences, but we can at least ask the question "What experience, knowledge and skill will help a couple survive and even thrive during the tough times?"

Men and women process and manage difficulty differently. That should be no surprise since they process most things in life differently. Yet, the very differences which could be a source of support and blessing during stress-filled times, often become the catalyst for quarreling, and dishonor. If bad times show a person what he or she is made of, bad times will also reveal how a couple works together - or doesn't.  Let's explore this topic together.

 

21st Century Marriage Part 3 Working together on opportunities

When God said to himself that it was not good for the man to be alone, what exactly did he have in mind? Was it merely "not good" only because Adam found no one who could help with the process of species population? Or was there more to God's observation? Adam had a purpose or purposes for which he was created and then ultimately placed in the garden. And Eve was given life with a purpose already in mind as well. So both the man and the women were given life BECAUSE God had a purpose and a reason behind doing so.

Might it be possible then that the union of the man and woman in marriage which creates a new - never before existent  - oneness, also has a purpose? Does God have big plans for your marriage? Do you sense any big plans and purposes for your marriage? Certainly marriage creates a union where two complimentary sexes can provide and care for each other. That's certainly an important element of marriage. And of course, marriage should create a healthy environment where children can flourish under the care and nurturing of two individuals whose specific gender strenghts and unique skills and gifts will make that possible.  The prophet Malachi - speaking for God - told his listeners that the marriage of a God-oriented man and a God-oriented woman provided a home where God-oriented children could be raised. That was obviously part of God's plan.  Since we see so relatively few homes which live out that mandate, it is as  important a purpose for marriage as ever.

Still, there may be more. Today, let's explore how a man and a woman who have covenanted with each other to love each other ( seek the good and well-being of the other) may have additional opportunities to serve, share, worship, grow, and connect with the world outside their doorstep.